Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Pretty in Pink?

Quick, what's the only thing worse than a Red Sox fan?

Give up? A bandwagon Red Sox fan. Why? Because at least a real fan can name his or her own players and can enter into the Yanks/Sox debate with credible (if not misguided) information. Not a bandwagon fan. A bandwagon fan is like the dimwitted crony in a bad mobster film, standing behind the boss, repeating everything he says with a "Yeaaah, what he said!"

Here's an obvious way to determine who is a real Sox fan and who is riding the wave started in 2004: if they're wearing anything pink, they are not real fans. In case you object, here's another way to look at it: if they're wearing anything pink, they are not real fans. Red, navy, white, and any combination therein all qualify as Red Sox colors. Pink says, "I don't like this team enough to sacrifice my taste in clothing and wear official gear."

Bandwagon Sox fans are like drips from a faucet -- you may not notice them at first, but once you do, you will be unable to focus on anything else. Eventually, you'll be completely consumed and utterly frustrated and begin pelting them with spare change as they pass.

Just me? Right then. Moving on.

Make no mistake, I have a deep hatred of these preposterous pink people, perverting the pure pleasure that is sports fanship. Luckily, I'm not alone. I encourage you to read this brief article from Boston Magazine.

There will always be bandwagon fans, but if you choose to jump aboard, please remember one thing -- you're pathetic in pink.

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