Poor Fat Kid

I'm a Yanks fan, so I should be happy about their 9th division title in a row. But I'm not. I'm worried. I'm worried a rejuvenated A-Rod will go back into his mental funk because of the recent SI article by my now-former favorite baseball writer, Tom Verducci.

No matter what A-Rod does, if he shows any signs of slumping slightly, he's screwed (or if he leaves any runners on base whatsoever...or strikes out with the bases empty...or watches a double bounce down the line which no player in the world could possibly catch...or scratches his head the wrong way...or chews only the most expensive brand of gum...you getting the picture?)

Combine all this booing with the SI article, and you've got a recipe for one Yankee thirdbaseman, overcooked and underachieving. Do you have any idea how painful it was to watch him during his slide this season? It was like the fat kid in gym class got stuck alone on one side of the floor, all the kids on the other side with all the dodgeballs. He's got no hope, no matter what he does. He might as well curl into a ball and cover his eyes.

Some of you can't wait to see what happens. For me and for all Yankees fans, when Johan Santana walks Bobby Abreu to load the bases in the bottom of the 8th and A-Rod steps up, it'll be too painful to watch (thanks in part to Verducci's article.)

So you can enjoy A-Rod's slide, phase two. Enjoy the fat kid getting rocked (again).

I'll be on the couch all throughout October, curled into a ball, covering my eyes.