The Weird Wild World Series

Show me an expert who predicted this World Series. Seriously. I'd love to meet this guy and pick his brain, because he's an absolute genius. There are times I think weather men and fortune tellers and have it easier than Peter Gammons.

Detroit and St. Louis were among the worst in baseball at the end of the regular season. The Tigers lost their division lead to the Twins on the final day, and the Cardinals finished the season with the pulse of a cabbage, nearly making history with their late collapse. And now both of these teams are in the World Series. That means one will be crowned the best team in all of baseball.

Oh, and the Red Sox finished with a better record (86-76) than the NL champions (83-78). That kills me.

Since this postseason has taught us one very important thing -- that predictions just don't apply during the playoffs -- logic dictates that I make a few predictions of my own for Game 1:

-- Tonight's Game 1 winner will score at least 1 more run than the loser.

-- The winning team tonight will record the final out of the game.

-- Jim Leyland will smoke at least 2 packs in the clubhouse between innings.

-- David Eckstein will have absolutely no need to shave before the game.

-- The world will end if either Leyland or Tony LaRussa so much as attempt a smile.

-- Tim McCarver will mispronounce at least 7 names.

-- Magglio Ordonez's hair will consume 10 hot dogs, 14 pretzels and 3 fans should he dive into the stands.

Ladies and gentlemen, your World Series competitors are ... the Tigers and Cardinals. I'll give you a moment to let that sink in. I'm gonna go repeatedly shut my head in a closet door...