MLB Division Series Predictions with a Twist

Forecasting the MLB playoffs, as I've said before, is about as easy these days as watching Stephon Marbury give a television interview -- you really want to do it, but it's impossible to know what's coming, and it borders on painful.

Now, Steph is clinically off his rocker. The MLB, at least, has some semblance of normalcy to it. There are at least three teams you can look at and say to yourself, okay, this is definitely the playoffs (the Yankees, Red Sox and Angels).

The insane factors, however, include the recent success of the Wild Cards (the Angels in '02, the Marlins in '03, the Red Sox in '04), the apparent ability of a team that looks dead to win it all (the Cardinals in '06), and the playoff-parched clubs now contending (the Phillies, Cubs and Rockies). And don't forget about the two teams absolutely loaded with young talent in the Indians and D-backs.

Without further confusion or monkey wrenches, here are my Division Series predictions, with a twist that may make everything I'm going to say about as accurate as the bad guys' shooting in "Walker, Texas Ranger":

ALDS
Red Sox 3, Angels 1
While the Sox throw perhaps the best pitcher in the league this year in Josh Beckett (20-7, 3.27 ERA), the Halos can counter with another proven Cy Young candidate in John Lackey (19-9, 3.01) and a second potential winner in Kelvim Escobar (18-7, 3.40). Once past the starters, though, Boston's bullpen will be the reason they beat this team from LA of Anaheim. Their six relievers on the DS roster boast a combined 2.74 ERA -- 2.53 if you don't count Eric Gagne, but where'd the series drama be without him? Oh yeah -- having David Ortiz in the middle of your lineup helps too.
The Twist
The Angels small-ball the Sox to death, Vladimir Guerrero goes Reggie Jackson on Boston pitching, and Jonathan Papelbon relives his disaster game against the Yanks this year and can't get a batter out.

Yankees 3, Indians 1
Everybody is talking about how C.C. Sabathia (19-7, 3.21 ERA) has yet to face the Yanks this season and how he could be the difference-maker depending on his performance. Both true. However, why is nobody mentioning just how good Chien-Ming Wang (19-7, 3.70) has been? That aside, the Yanks have pounded on the Indians, going undefeated against the Tribe during the regular season. If it all comes down to the bullpen and Sabathia and Fausto Carmona have left the games, Cleveland closer Joe Borowski, despite his 45 saves, has a whopping 5.07 ERA. This is a guy who has to face the most potent offense in the majors. The Yanks scored 76 more runs than anybody in baseball this year (968 to the Phillies' 892).
The Twist
The inexperience of the young Indians becomes irrelevant and the Yanks can't get anything from their number-three guy (Clemens or Mussina). If this scenario plays out, A-Rod will hit .700 with 3 HR and 12 RBI in the series. (Haters: "Sure he played well, but they didn't win!) Just the man's luck.

NLDS
Cubs 3, D-backs 2
Maybe it's because the other historically pained/comedic teams (Boston and the ChiSox) have gotten their redemption in recent years. Maybe it's because Derek Lee volunteered to star in an episode of ER in exchange for an ep entirely dedicated to the eye disease which afflicts his daughter to raise awareness (read about that here). For whatever reason, I'm going with the Cubs because they deserve it. Arizona was 14th in the league in scoring, while the Cubs were second in team ERA with a collective 4.04. Pair Arizona's inability to score with the Cubs pitching, and throw in a little youth inexperience for the D-backs (only four players on their roster are 30 or older), and Chicago gets to the Championship Series.
The Twist
A fan reaches out and grabs an Arizona foul ball and the Cubs go on to blow the game and lose the series, causing all sorts of uproar and excuses and scapegoats which lead to Lou Piniella's head exploding.

Rockies 3, Phillies 1
This is a tough choice here because both teams were streaking coming in, Colorado having won 12 of 13 and the Phillies 13 of 17, plus their leap past the Mets after being down seven games with 17 to play. But after seeing Game One of the series, the Rockies looked to be a stronger team. And, surprisingly, their pitching was much better all year than Philadelphia's, with a 4.32 team ERA compared to a 4.73. Neither is stellar, but the bullpen of Colorado could become the difference-maker.
The Twist
Major League Baseball reviews footage of the Rockies/Padres one-game playoff and realizes, like all of America, that Matt Holliday was actually out at the plate, his hand having touched nothing more than Michael Barrett's cleat, making every game the team plays null and void.